Shell Step: The Finale

18 09 2007

The final Shell Step presentation was the week before last, and I was absoutely dreading it. It was awful waiting to give the presentation, because one of my ex-colleagues from the SCBC (small company in a big company) was there watching, and considering how awfully they treated us it was hard to say what they had done and knowing everything I was saying was going to go straight back to my ex-boss. It was one of the most scary presentations I have ever done. But I got through it it seems.

The reaction to my presentation was actually quite positive, because I presented the problems in a positive way and detailed how I got through them by team work (with another girl who was on Shell Step there with me) they were on my side. Which was surprising. A small company owner even said to me “They sound like they need a good kick up the arse. When you take on a Shall Step student you take on the responsibility of giving that student something they can take away and be proud of.” I could not have said it better myself.

I was shaking as I gave my presentation, and then the worst thing that could’ve happened….. happened. One of the judge asked “This difficult colleague seems to feature a lot in your skills tracker diary and your final report, how did you manage their behaviour?” I froze. I could feel the ex-colleague looking at me from the back of the room and I was desperately thinking “What can I say without absolutely slating her best mate and making myself look like a complete idiot?” I am ashamed to admit it, but I squirmed. Badly. I said “urrm” a lot, and the best I could come out with was: “To be honest I just ignored it and made sure I had all her work done first so she couldn’t say anything.” At least, I think it was something like that but I’m not sure. I was so blinded by this question it was like being a rabbit in the headlights, confidence shaken.

After the presentation the ex-colleague wouldn’t look me in the eye, and she dashed off pretty quickly. I’m still not sure if it was embarrassment or she was so mad at me that she couldn’t look at me. Either way, I haven’t heard from them since and that makes me ask the question: Is that a good or bad thing?




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